Jamie Vergara

Fairly going to be a long post but I’ll TRY to keep it short.

My heart and stomach are beyond full from the beautiful country of Malaysia. This was my first mission trip which was done through the Fellowship of Catholic University Students (FOCUS). Nine of us from Nebraska, Florida, Maryland, Minnesota, Maryland, Wisconsin, Georgia and New York came together to serve college students half way across the world. Our “objective” was to teach these students how to evangelize and do some physical work in some areas of east Malaysia. I say “objective” in quotes because we came to serve, but I felt that I’ve learned so much from this trip as much as I tried to teach and share what I know.

Before meeting the entire team and during the months of spiritual and financial preparation, I had so many doubts in my mind about this trip. There were days I really did want to quit, and not because of having to contact potential sponsors but out of anxiety. I was nervous to travel half way across the world there were so many things that could go wrong. What if I don’t click with the team? What if I get sick or injured? Am I good enough for this trip? God blessed me with amazing sponsors and I knew it was His will I go.

When we arrived on day 1, I knew even in LA this team was so meant to be. There was so much laughter, memories and spiritual growth. The type of people that spiritually and physically held my hand while on the journey towards sainthood. We explored the first 3 days in Kuala Lumpur and met some college students there where we joined an assembly they had, had dinners together and explained what FOCUS is and how to spread the gospel out. We did a question and answering portion in which, we all discovered, the problems of spiritual multiplication are the same wherever you go. Everyone is experiencing problems because being heaven bound is not the easiest thing on this planet. However, through prayer and perseverance, anything is possible.

Three weeks felt like a year. When you’re with the same people for that long in another country without cell phone use or social media, it can feel like an eternity. But this eternity felt like Heaven. It was such a blessing to be with the communities and the college students of Malaysia. I walked into this mission thinking, “okay, 3 weeks. We’ll count this down each week so I can be back home ASAP.” But of course, at the end of the trip I wanted to do it all over again. This trip brought so many blessings and the presence of the Holy Spirit was felt the entire time.

The second week was all about teaching each other how to lead bible studies, build authentic friendships and how to evangelize. We focused on how to seek more encounters with Jesus and build deeper prayers with Him. It’s never easy but that’s why practice makes perfect. I remember our chaplain Fr. Mike from Georgia telling us to be silent because that’s when God’s sirens are the loudest and it was the hardest part. This trip had some spiritual and physical challenges. Spiritually, I was scared a holy hour was going to be too long for me or that I’d never learn how to do the compline night prayer, but by the end of the trip, I wish I did more. We went to mass every day and had holy hour. I started doing more Lectio Divinas during holy hour because I’ve realized, I’ve been depriving myself of the scriptures. It hit me how I profess the things I believe in but I don’t know enough of the stories to fully believe in what I do. Alas, I started reading more from the New Testament and the parables are as lit as they sound. Having brotherhood and sisterhood bible studies were so empowering. We did those almost every day for 2 weeks. What was even more empowering was listening to everyone’s testimonies. Nine Americans and eleven Malaysian students were with each other for 2 weeks praying together, living together, praise and worshiping together and above all, loving God together. We did some house chores such as dishes, bathroom maintenance and laundry and built a road which is considered the physical works.

The spiritual works all came after week 2 of training. We traveled to at least 6 villages in week 3 to share our stories, the mission of FOCUS, and build bonds with the locals. This is where some challenges arose. For one, 9 of us don’t speak Malay. We would have the students translate what we would want to say in addition to Deacon Adrian and Father Andy. Every time we visited a village or the parish we were living at, we would have small group discussions. We would share stories, take questions and answers and teach what we’ve learned at Week 2’s Training Camp. Language barrier would be a challenge as well as having a shy discussion group. There were a lot of moments of silence in which at that point, we decided to share more stories to empower the group or even ask people directly “How do you praise God?” Or “What’s God’s greatest gift to you?” For those that did speak up, they were incredible. I met a women who’s youngest child passed away at a young age and brought so much despair in her life. She held on to the faith for as long as she could and still trusts in His plan despite the depression she went through.

But after all of this traveling and physical/spiritual work, I finally understand and am in awe of how powerful prayer is. There came a point where at a village called Long Jengan, we were asked to split up into 5 groups of 4 and pray for each household that had their door open. I was with my discipler/missionary Allie, my disciple Maegan, and another friend Darren. We prayed for many houses but one struck the most. We walked into one woman’s home, and the moment we did she bursted into tears. I wanted to be like, yes auntie I get it I look like trash and I’m standing next to a tall white girl. But all jokes aside, auntie had so much weight on her heart. And to see us try to help her lift those off produced those tears. She told us her intentions and we had Maegan / Darren (can’t remember who did) pray for her so she could understand we are keeping her in our prayers. Why was this so impactful? We didn’t even tell her our names or our stories all she knew was that we were there for her and it was enough. As we said goodbye, she continued to cry in Maegan’s arms. Father Andy originally told the people we can’t give money or materials but we can give prayers and at that point, I understood why prayer is so powerful. God’s Love is so immense it can overpower any burden or success. Prayer is love.

I shared many heart to heart conversations with my team: Allie, Jesus, Nikki, Jess, Marlee, Ellen, Krissy & Fr. Mike, the local priest Father Andy, deacon Adrian, and especially the college students we were with. This is what made saying goodbye so hard. After 3 weeks of being with the same crew and living and dying with one another, it was the best experience I’ve ever endured. From sisterhood group showers, naps, carrying the local kids on our shoulders and backs, dancing and singing, plus playing fútbol, the memories were endless. When I say I cried about 14 times I’m not even exaggerating. Not out of pain, which side note: the 9 of us didn’t get sick or injured PRAISE GOD, I thought, “Lord if this is how every mission trip ends with tears then I don’t want to do this anymore.” But then an afterthought came of, im in tears not because I’m sad but because of how happy and joyful this trip was. As I cried in my friend Mia’s car with Darren, Yoh and Eleanor, I told them “Before I cry too much later, I just wanna say thank you right now for giving me something worth missing.” There were a lot of hardships on this trip but there were more blissful times and blessings than low moments. Low moments: durians, my reaction to the sheep song, cramps. But highs: endless. I met my disciple on this trip she’s from Malaysia and her name is Maegan. I talked to Allie and another Malaysian, Joy about asking Maegan and a lot of nerves consumed me. How was I gonna lead another person towards God when I’m a mess? Is this distance gonna be a burden? Will she say yes or no? Regardless of her answer, Maegan turned out to be one of the closest friends I’ve ever had with her and the other students holding a special place in my heart. She inspired me to do better and to pray more and to love more. The entire Malaysian team did: Maegan, Rachael, Eleanor, Zha, Joy, Ica, Carman, Mia, Jay, Yo, Sam, Pio, Ryan, Noel, Bosco, Aldy, Fr. Andy, Deacon Adrian and every single person we encountered.

This trip has taught me so much. I’ve grown to appreciate the littlest things in life. By week 3, there was no more AC, rough bathroom conditions and the hardest part, the rationing of water. We were in a village with little water so unless it rained the water supply was low. I was dehydrated cause I wanted to make sure I had water only when I needed it and not out of excess. We slept on sleeping bags for a majority of the trip. We take the littlest things for granted: beds, clean water, laundry machines, showers, a dishwasher. These are things other people in the world don’t have. We have it so easy. We take our resources to get closer to the faith for granted such as books, confession, daily and Sunday mass and fellowships. Some of the villages we visited might only have mass once a month or rarely confession because there’s not enough priests to cover all those kilometers. It’d be like if there were only 3 priests for Miami, Broward and West Palm. I’ve grown to appreciate the missionaries and clergy of the church because it’s so beautiful to see men and women commit their lives to the Lord. Here in the U.S., if we miss a mass, we go to the next. That’s not an option in Lapok. If you miss it you miss it. What also inspired me was the Malaysian communities deep desire to be intimate with God. There’s a desire in their hearts and it’s ostensible by the way they sing, their generosity and curiosity to know more about the faith. When I sing loud at church in the U.S. sometimes I’ll get stared at. In Malaysia, singing quietly is not a thing. To see parishioners sing their hearts out was an experience to remember. Overall, a big leap I’ve taken after this trip is learning how to be more patient and humble. There were moments I’d wanna scream some fowl language over a bug, using a filthy bathroom but I’d suppress my words and remind myself, “it’s okay, I can do this.” There’s a lot of things we hold on to good or bad, materialistic items, our appearances, social media, but let it go. Because none of that is coming with you to Heaven.

After this incredible experience of encountering God, learning new scriptures and how to evangelize, and building unbreakable bonds, I would like to thank all of my sponsors for believing in this mission and I. I kept all of you in my prayers and I still will continue to do so. And above all, thank you God for using me as a vessel to spread Your love and for Your endless love. I couldn’t have done this without any of you.