21 (lessons) Blessings in Disguise

16 days later… And I can finally put my thoughts and reflections into the words I wanted to. I turned 21 a little over 2 weeks ago, and my mom actually suggested I write about 21 things I learned the days and years leading up to my 21st birthday. I couldn’t write during that time because school really picked up. I have just a year left until my undergraduate graduation, and classes have definitely become more rigorous than in the past.

I would like to thank my family especially my parents, siblings, and grandparents, extended family, childhood friends, and the people in my life right now for all the continuous love and support throughout all the years. As we celebrated with a Boodle Fight dinner at my house, the friends there have been there since the day I was born. And here we still are with the old times and new times. I have learned so much from elementary, middle school, Suncoast and UNF and things from life in general. So here it all goes: the 21 things I learned.

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(I have too many photos to highlight but these are some of the best times. I wanted to include more)

How to go through challenging situations: There were days where I wanted to leave Suncoast to go to Cardinal Newman. There are days where I consider finishing off school at PBSC instead of UNF. There were so many goodbyes I have had to do especially this past summer. We are always going to be thrown challenges at us. But you just have to push yourself, because if you really want something you will work for it. You also can’t go through anything alone no matter how much you think you can. Get yourself a strive tribe and support system that will motivate you even during your weakest times.
Make time for others: A priest reminded me, we need community in order to live. Find time to spend time with your loved ones, because you will only have regrets for every time you never got to spend. If there’s one thing we can’t buy, it’s time.
How to bundle up as a Floridian in cold places: Hahaha this is funny. I travel quite frequently and I’ve had to learn how to dress properly for colder places. However, I act like Florida is Patagonia weather so there’s that. I’ve learned more about fashion and brands in different areas like New York, Chicago and California where the culture is so different from Florida.
How to love more: go that extra mile for others – Over the years I’ve been known to be a gift giver. But even materials aside, I always wanted to be a good friend to those I encounter. You never know what anyone is going through, and I had a friend in high school who really showed me that we have to be nice to everyone no matter who it is.
The stock market – Something I picked up this year actually. My dad and I always talked about it, but I never took initiative until he pushed me before school started this year. I did my research: which brokerage firms are the best, what shares to buy, even bought books to read about the market. Long behold, I have an account now at Charles Schwab and I actually learn about investments in 2 of my classes this semester. I am learning as I go, and one of my professors said he did the same thing at my age.
Your major, friends, school do not define your character. You do.: Something I really struggled with growing up. We should not be known as the person who drives this, the person who works there or the person who is smart. We should be remembered as a good family member, friend, and the impact we have on a community or the people we encounter in our life. People will remember your actions and words more than your hobbies.
How to balance my time: I am old fashioned and use an agenda because if it is written on paper it becomes real. This is how I prioritize my time.
Stop letting the things you can’t control worry you: I used to get so angry when things couldn’t go my way. But let it be known, we can’t control things like the weather, accidents, or time. So stop letting the things that we can’t stop get in our way of our happiness.
Be more present in the moment: Phones and technology have been an escape from reality. Now reality is an escape from technology. Every week I find myself either celebrating or worrying what my screen time is on my phone. But, we need to make every moment count because life is to short to always be behind a phone. Do things you love more and put the phone down.
Don’t ever settle for less than what you were made for: My academic career has been a series of me always striving for the bare minimum of what is required out of me. My international finance professor reminded me, we can’t work like this. He said, “You won’t walk into your job one day and say I did a good job today, so I won’t do anything tomorrow. That’s how you get fired.” Always push yourself to your full potential. I’ve learned to whether school, relationships, or when making decisions, always do what is best for you and not what is most convenient. The best outcome will come from how much effort you put into it.
Your family and friends will always love you: I’ve grown up with so many great people in my life and I am forever indebted to God for that. I’ve made mistakes, made them mad, but the good times will always overpower the negative ones. I’ve grown so reliant on my parents and I’m 21 years old and FaceTime my mom every single day while she’s at work. That is real love. This lady will legit answer my call even when she’s with a patient but hang up immediately. My parents, siblings, and friends — thank you for always having my back.
Opportunities are out there: find them. You have to fight for what you want: You can’t be spoon fed forever. You have to put in your work to get what you want. I am the queen of looking for options, laying them out on the table and seeing what the best route will be. You’ve got to use resources, build relationships and put in the work to pursue your dreams. I thank my parents for financially helping me through some of my endeavors, but I also thank them for teaching me independence and how to problem solve on my own.
Going out of your comfort zone: You will never grow if you keep standing in the same spot. I’ve always tried to join school clubs, volunteer for the community, travel to different places I have never thought I’d make it to, or even meet people you thought you would have never been friends with. Because in those challenging moments, the firework within you begins to ignite. It becomes more apparent to those you surround too.
Be more involved in your community: My accounting professor said life should not just be about school or work. And he is right. I have a deep passion for the Couples for Christ Ministry, FOCUS, Rotaract, Delta Sigma Pi (etc). This is how you can network to employers while also serving for a great cause.
Teachers want to help you, not hurt you: I have grown to respect my teachers especially after I saw how drained my sister was her first year of teaching. Being a teacher is a calling. I have had the best teachers growing up and up until now who literally went to best institutions: Ole Miss, UCLA, Brown, University of Wisconsin- Madison, Indiana University, Texas Tech (you name it) and they are here teaching students how to succeed later on in life. One of my accounting professors even reminded us he is there for us, we just have to reach out to him. While all my teachers have been so academically successful, they are helping other kids grow. Students spend more time with their teachers than families sometimes and vice versa. There is so much rapport and bond that goes into the success of a student.
Persevere: I have felt many moments of failure and up until today I have confidence issues and doubts. There was an accounting professor I had who constantly reminded the class to always answer and participate, because if we don’t try, how will we ever know what we need help in? If we give up after one try, we will never grow.
Stop trying to race the clock: This is something I have to work on. I find myself always trying to race time. That I never have enough time in the day for the things in my agenda. There was this post about survivors from 9/11 how the littlest things made these people late to work which literally saved their life. Every time the littlest things delay us from doing what we want to do, remember timing is impeccable and we are always where we are meant to be.
How to find hobbies: rock climbing and reading: This actually goes back to going out of your comfort zone. I’ve grown more to love reading books after high school when I wasn’t forced to read something. I also love rock climbing, after my former roommate’s friend invited me to go with him. It was so much fun and I knew I had a new hobby that would help me be in shape, while I could also have fun.
How to travel the world: So a lot of people ask, how do I do it? Honestly I wonder that too. My parents remind me, keep traveling. Especially while I’m still young, before I actually have a career and family to keep exploring. My perspective on spending for trips is, I would rather go broke then say I never did it. Because the only regret I would have, is that I never got to do it because I was scared or didn’t work hard enough for it. This is actually how I studied abroad. My FL Prepaid and Bright Futures scholarship, the Sean Michael Thomson Scholarship and UNF SAILS scholarship got me where I needed to be. I’ve learned how to financially support my travel expenses but also how to see the world through a different lens. I met a lot of different people, groups, and have seen so many wonderful things of this world.
Stop saying what if and what could’ve been and think about what will be: We are always stuck in the past. But if we do not let go of the past, we will never be able to move forward. It is okay to revisit it and laugh at the memories, but I’ve learned time passes for a reason and God’s timing is the only clock to follow. If we focus on the what if’s, we will never have a brighter future.
Life isn’t ever going to be easy. Nothing good ever comes easy. – I remind myself and some of my friends daily, don’t give up so easily. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel. I did a mission trip in Mexico last March 2019, where I volunteered at the Santa Maria Del Mexicano institution who have youth, elderly and children from rough backgrounds. Every morning, I read this letter one of the girls wrote for me about how she’s thankful she met me, and that is my push everyday to succeed along with my family and friends. There’s a purpose for all of us, you gotta find it along the way.