Jamie Vergara

To all the readers out there. It’s been a while since I’ve updated on here. And I’ve got some news. I have left EY. I am finallEY moving forward. That’s right, someone who thought they bled black and yellow has turned in the badge and laptop. Man has it been a crazy month or two and even year at that. I’m not one to jump the gun on decisions unless it’s a vacation, but this was probably a difficult decision for me. This wordpress and my resignation weighs heavy on my heart. To walk away from the talented teammates who I adore, the amazing benefits, and the working flexibility; I was scared to try something new. A world outside of this one was foreign to me. And some people are going to ask why the switch and here it goes…

Trust me.. Resigning was never the plan and I never wanted to. I really thought this was my first and last job. This has been so difficult for me to grasp. My first job right out of college — Call me super glue because I was so attached to it and so nervous and scared for what comes next. It’s all that I knew and everything I thought I could love. Who’s to say I won’t boomerang back because I won’t close the door on that. However, as the days went on especially after my 1 year mark, I was feeling just pretty empty. I get it, adulting – making ends meet to pay bills and do fun things. But this was beyond any emptiness. No one should walk into work already crying or feeling sick because they don’t want to be there. Long nights, 60 hour weeks, back to back calls while trying to complete client work. And it’s not that I didn’t love my team or the firm, but the work itself was not a fit for me. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the client facing and tax technical skills I’ve gained. I will cherish all the fun and bad days. Some of my EY teammates joked around that if I wasn’t coachable or hard working, I wouldn’t feel this way or have such a supportive team. I imagined the next 5-10 years, and if I faked it till I made it, I told myself it would have been fine. I am a determined and strong person that it takes a lot to blow the wind out of me. But why continue to coach me on tax if it’s not for me?

I stayed longer than I anticipated because of my love for the team and I didn’t want to leave them high and dry during the busiest season of the year. But to be candid the real reason and something that weighed me down, I felt like resigning was going to disappoint a lot of people. I felt a lot of shame. And some of you will tell me I’m so young in the game I can’t feel this way. But the shame came from me feeling like I gave up so fast and I was not good enough for my team and the job. My parents for one, I felt like they would be disappointed. I factored them in before I made this decision. They’ve always supported me but I was scared to tell them because I didn’t want to seem like a quitter. They invested so much in my academic career and had always made sure I had everything I needed. They were so excited when I got the job offer and so was I. One of my managers who has really been there for me since I started, and has invested in me from day 1, it wounded me to have to leave her. We don’t need to get into all the tears and water works that occurred after I verbally resigned, but saying goodbye to my dear manager Lindsey broke my heart. Spending day in and day out with the same few people even if virtual, and have them actually treat you like family was a hard goodbye to make. On my last day, even my boss and my senior analysts’ HUSBANDS wished me a farewell. I was treated like a family. Being one of the youngest in my team, I was everyone’s work kiddo. The tears not only from me but others on my last day was heart warming and sad all at once. I kid you not, I probably had 8 “I quit” convos and then 10 hours worth of goodbyes. I also was afraid of what others would think too. “She’s leaving a big 4, for what???” And the biggest let down, is that I felt like I disappointed myself. My closest friends say I am too hard on myself and beat myself up more than I should. I was so disappointed and felt like I gave up to easily. This is definitely a pride thing. I was so disappointed because it felt like I looked weak or that I didn’t try hard enough. A year in the tax world seemed like a lifetime. I really felt like I let myself down. I called myself every name in the negative name book: quitter, underserving, dumb, incapable. The applause and wow looks I got when someone heard I worked for a Big 4 was a pat on the back, but again there were times I felt like I wasn’t good enough to be in this industry. Deep down I think I knew I had something else out there — but was too scared to take on that chance or discover a new world.

I figured, I am young and have so many years ahead of me. Why put in formative years into something that I don’t want to do forever?

I actually resigned before having another job officially lined up. I know, I risked it. I’m an adult and with my experience and qualifications I knew I had potential. I put in the work, applied for positions, was picky and being a brat, but during this time of applications and hustling, I WAS SCARED. And I was so nervous that I wasn’t going to find another position. But here’s the thing and why this was best for me (I am not encouraging anyone to go this route), I needed this time off to rest. Really rest without checking Teams every 5 minutes, rest without bringing a laptop with me on vacation, and rest because I can without any worries. Unfortunately, this was the only way I could truly take a day off, or now it’s days. I also needed this time off to really focus on interviews and applications. There was a week I was applying/interviewing and doing client work and dealing with my personal life all at once and boy it was exhausting. It’s like prep for work, prep for your interviews now prep for your personal activities. The company I will be working for was actually introduced to me by a dear friend from UNF, Caleb. He connected me with a recruiter and then I looked on the job listings as well to see what roles could be a fit for me. I really owe it to him for always having my back. I wasn’t sure if I was going to get a call. I was unsure if I would be a potential candidate. But here I was receiving a phone call/email to do a screening and then I made it to the first interview. The hiring process requires 2 interviews. I remember me thinking, “what if I nail the first interview to the point where I don’t have to do a round 2?” Guess what…… That is exactly what happened. After my first round, the recruiter called and said, “You don’t have to go to round 2 and this isn’t bad. Your interviewer is confident in his decision without having to move you to round 2 but we will touch base after this weekend.” A couple days later, I was in the car picking up coffee when I saw the recruiter was calling me; hands shaking, heart pounding and she shares the news, “we would love to extend an offer,” and I actually felt my heart doing somersaults. All my fears, all my stress, all my negative pep talks had been tossed to the side. I made it. I am so ecstatic and nervous all at once to join Dun & Bradstreet as a Data Acquisition Analyst. I’ll be helping them expand their Environmental, Social & Governance practice. ESG is moving the world and how fun that I get to work in data and tech and figure out what drives consumers (don’t let my nerd side come out).

Overall, I have nothing but complete gratitude. A couple shout outs to make: First, thank you Kuya Matt for always pushing me to step out of my comfort zone and helping me navigate adulting. To my siblings who supported me through this. My best friends, Ciarra, Nat & Julia for really getting me through the best and worst days and being my rock to lean on, the Dancel’s, Father Alex & Rafael, the Raker’s for looking out for me, Jen & Mary, and everyone who has prayed for me, let me cry on them and for showing me all the love and support during this job transition time. After all the trials and triumphs, I am so ready and excited for what comes next. My friend Yana always says, “Baby blue looks good on you Jamie.” #TeamDNB