Thrilling, serene, enlightened.
These are the few words to describe my most recent trip to California. The joy of traveling to the west coast. And even more delightful when there’s time to see old friends.
I had no idea what cards I’d be dealt with this week — but I guess since I’m a wild card, it’s only fair that the world continues to shock me as much as I try to shock the world.
I’ve been really struggling with self-validation and loving myself. I traveled at the latter of 2022 to “find myself.” I worked overtime hours, I’ve reconnected with old friends, I’ve surrendered social media. I’ve done a lot activities to reset my life with the exception of giving myself peace and silence to reflect. And this Cali trip opened my eyes that at some point in life it’s not about what could’ve been but about what might be. It showed me the importance and value of authentic friendships and chasing dreams.
I visited San Francisco and Benicia to attend a birthday party for a long time family friend from Florida and see a friend from high school. No matter the years, months and days, the saying that true friendship transcends lifetimes, time and space is very much true.
My friend Sam who I used to do debate with in high school went to UC Berkeley for college and stayed in the Bay after he got a job offer. Going to Cali from Florida is such a hike that I try to make the time worth while. I hit up Sam to see if he was free and if I could stay at this place before going to Benicia. I hadn’t seen Sam in four years. And four years ago, we were both still in college and I stayed at his college house with his amazing roommates. The summer I visited in 2019 holds a special place in my heart. This Cal crew was so kind to me and we made some fun memories. Fast forward to today, I can’t believe Sam and his college roommates: Abe, Kurtis, Izzy and Kevin all still live nearby one another and let alone I can’t believe I got to see all of them again. I know I’ve written a lot of fluff with this background context, but the summer squad that was once messy college kids are now messy grown adults who are trying to conquer this world of adulting. Sam and I actually had work, but I was working Florida hours so I had a lot of time to kill. When he got caught up at the office, his roommate Kevin, brought me around the city before we got dinner with everyone else. I told the boys I don’t mind exploring on my own and I’d figure it out, but they were adamant Kevin would go with me. I was blown away by the hospitality. We even rented a GIG (rental Prius) to drive me to the tourist stuff which you could not make me drive up the mountains — I’m eternally grateful LOL that Kevin did. After a long day in the city, we all met up for hot pot in the Union Square area. It was a week night, and as a 9-5er I know the feeling of having a late night dinner or being out passed a certain time in general. It meant a lot to me that this crew, that I’ve only met once, four years ago, dropped everything to meet up. The group chat telling me to come back and in Sam’s words “you are a part of the Gil’s place family” made my heart do somersaults.
After 36 hours in San Fran, it was time to drive up an hour north to Benicia where my dear friends, the Merino family live. My friend Joni and I planned this trip to celebrate our baby girl Sofia’s 9th birthday. We’ve known the Merino’s for 11 years now, and have stayed in touch. To everyone during my Youth for Christ days — I owe this family for making me the former state area head I was. I would not be where I am today without the Merino’s. The Merino’s have been one of my supporters and have always looked out for me no matter the distance; and have helped me with who I am as a person today. When I was 16, in college, and even in the present day, they’ve shown they’ll never give up on me. They showed the light in me even when I couldn’t find it. They have their own kid but loved me like I was theirs too. Sofia turned 9 this year and we watched Elemental for a private showing, ate hot pot, grilled burgers, had happy hour at the house, s’mores around the fireplace, I got to play basketball (heh), visited the pier — it’s a good wholesome time. Meeting the Merino’s, I feel so lucky. Some people spend their whole lives trying to find joy and love, but Cali reminded me the true friendships I’ve made are the ones that fill the vacancy in my heart.
The then and now .. bonus points if you can guess which ones are from the present and which ones are from 4-5 years ago.
A couple months ago, I had a heart to heart with my friend Izzy about giving love back to myself. I don’t have to earn self-worth and I always have time to take care of myself. Walking by the Golden Gate Bridge reminded me that life always throws challenges and triumphs and the choice to either cross the bridge or stand still at the beginning of it. It might be a long walk and it doesn’t matter how long it takes to cross, but if you don’t take that step forward, you’ll never see what’s on the other side. I’ve stayed complacent and in the same spot for almost a year now of begging for validation and only doing things just to please other people. And as I crossed the Golden Gate Bridge, I looked back at the Cali crew, my Jax Scoop Troop squad, my family, the data gang, and everyone who has helped me walk this long haul of soul searching.
I don’t know when’s the next time I’ll be back in the Bay Area, but what I do know is being back in Cali with the best people brought the best out of me. I’ve known and have always believed, “There is a magnet in your heart that will attract true friends. That magnet is unselfishness, thinking of others first; when you learn to live for others, they will live for you.”
As always, thank you for tuning in. And if you have another second, below is my usual travel recap video.
Jamie Vergara 